


Lullaby (In search of all things beautiful)

by waterofthemoon



Series: Forever Enough [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Adoption, Babies, Established Relationship, F/M, Future Fic, Jossed, Kid Fic, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-01
Updated: 2007-04-01
Packaged: 2017-10-09 01:24:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/81485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterofthemoon/pseuds/waterofthemoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Jensen decide to adopt. Yes, it's BABYFIC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lullaby (In search of all things beautiful)

**Author's Note:**

> Cowritten with [**unperfectwolf**](http://unperfectwolf.livejournal.com/profile), who lacks an AO3 account!
> 
> Baby!fic, future!fic. Supernatural is over, woe. Also, no, we're not quite sure how we managed to get through this with intact ovaries, but there will probably be more in this 'verse. In fact, the story of Chris/Sandy is already being written o.O Huge thanks to [**wendy**](http://wendy.livejournal.com/profile) for the amazing beta because this? This was a mess. We had commas and tenses and povs coming out our ears, and after trying to fix it ourselves we called in the pros. Look how pretty she made it! Also, [[pictures of the boys with real babies](http://frances-veritas.livejournal.com/56501.html)].

> _They didn't have you where I come from  
> Never knew the best was yet to come_
> 
> Life began when I saw your face  
> —Dixie Chicks, "Lullaby"

Jared has only mentioned that he wants kids ten thousand times, give or take a few. Jensen knows this, but he's not sure _he_ wants kids. Still, listening to Jared go on and on about having a kid, raising a kid, them, together—it makes him think. _Supernatural_'s been over for almost a year, and he's done one pretty good movie and Jared's done a supporting role in an even better movie, so one day when Jared's talking about it, he asks him where they could go to adopt.

Turns out Jared had done a little more research than just casual browsing. He shows Jensen all sorts of places, how it would happen, what they could do. So they talk about it for a while and discuss it, because they're adults no matter what their parents think, and they can handle their lives rationally.

They decide a few things quickly, like that they want a girl, and they want a kid that's born in America. In the end, they set everything up there in California—not in L.A., but in Oakland, more than five hours north. They have to tread carefully, because for all that they're actors, they're gay men, and it's still pretty hard to do anything as a couple.

But then, after months of research and applications and meetings, they get a call. Their new daughter is waiting for them.

The day they drive up to Oakland, Jensen's nervous. He sweats it out the whole way there and keeps sneaking glances at the empty car seat in the back of Jared's SUV. Jared notices and places a hand on his thigh once they're out of L.A. traffic and on the highway.

"Hey," he says softly, squeezing Jensen's knee. "You okay? We don't have to do this."

Jensen shakes his head. Jared's giving him an out, but he knows how excited Jared is and how much he wants this. For God's sake, Jensen heard him on the phone with Sandy last week discussing the merits of various toilet training methods. Sandy's been a mom for a year now and takes a perverse delight in boring them all with new photos and stories. Jensen sort of hopes they won't be like that.

"I'm fine," he tells Jared, but Jared won't stop _looking_ at him, and Jensen curls up in his seat. "Watch the road."

"Yes, dear," Jared mocks, but he faces forward again and shifts his attention back to driving.

They get into Oakland in the middle of the afternoon and check into a hotel. Jared is starting to get nervous, too, and neither of them are saying anything about the other's nervous tics, things they've learned how to help settle over the years. This is different, though, and the two of them are nearly pacing when the time comes to go and meet the social worker and then, finally, their baby.

The social worker is a nice lady named Anna with whom they both shake hands. They've never met her face to face, but they've talked with her on the phone more than once. She's thrilled to meet them, and she smiles as they work their way through the last of the paperwork.

"Believe me," she tells them, "it's easier to do this now, even if you're nervous, than to try and do it once you've been introduced to your daughter."

When she says that, Jared lights up, and Jensen isn't far behind. _Your daughter_ just sounds so surreal, and it makes them both grin at each other.

Eventually, they're done and Anna's leading them into another room. She has them sit and wait, and then, then she's back, holding what Jensen thinks has to be the smallest human on the face of the planet, a little girl wrapped up in a fuzzy pink baby blanket. She's small enough that Jared most likely could hold her in one hand, but now Anna's handing her to Jared and he's cradling her, and Jensen's right there with him, their eyes wide in disbelief.

"Hey, there, April Marie," Jensen says softly, watching her beautiful blue eyes track back and forth from his face to Jared's.

Anna smiles at them. "I'll give you a minute." She turns to leave the room, but Jensen stops her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Wait." His voice is full of wonder as he speaks. "Just... wow. Thank you. So much." He shakes her hand, then gently takes April from Jared's arms. She's fragile in his hands, almost breakable, and Jensen melts when she scrunches up her face and closes her eyes.

Jared nods as he shakes Anna's hand. "Thank you for all your help. And your discretion," he adds, because Jared's never been known for his subtlety. "Jensen and I..." He looks over at Jensen and April with a fierce, hard love in his eyes that Jensen's never seen before. "We appreciate it. More than we can say."

"It was my pleasure, gentlemen," Anna tells them. "I hope you'll all be very happy together."

She leaves the room, and Jared tries to take April back into his arms, but Jensen won't let him. "No way, she's sleeping," Jensen says defensively, and Jared rolls his eyes.

"Oh, Jesus, it's gonna be like _that_, isn't it?" he mutters under his breath, but Jensen's too busy adjusting April's blanket to notice that or Jared's grin.

•

And like that, it is. Jensen, who was wary of this from the start, fell in love all over again. This time, however, instead of with a 6'4" Texan with a smart mouth, he fell for a tiny little girl he is going to call his own.

Both of them were surprised at how much they took to this, how much came instinctively. They had April with them for two nights up in Oakland before they drove back to LA, and even now, neither of them feels the panic they had felt the first few times she cried.

Jared smiles softly, glancing in the rearview mirror every now and then, watching Jensen and April. They're almost home now, and it's nearly dark. The street lights come on as they come into L.A.

"You ready to get home, Jense?" Jared asks quietly, so as not to disturb April.

Jensen nods. "Yeah. God, yeah. I mean, it'll be us three, for the first time, and—" he stops, not knowing what else he could say to explain it.

But he doesn't need to. Jared gets it. "Yeah, babe, I know."

Jensen looks up and catches his eyes in the rearview mirror, smiling.

When they finally get back to their apartment complex, Jared slides into the numbered space in front of the building and eases the car into park. He gets out and goes around to the back to help Jensen with the car seat, but Jensen's already fiddling with the complicated buckles, and he smiles fondly at Jared as he hands April to him and straightens up. It's dark now, and they kiss right there in the parking lot, April barely awake between them.

"C'mon." Jared nods towards the elevator. "Let's get her inside, it's breezy out here." They head in, nodding at the doorman, and Jensen knows that Jared's struggling not to laugh while he tries to keep the diaper bag from slipping down his shoulder as he works their finicky deadbolt open.

Jensen finally gets it, and Jared heads straight for the spare room—now April's bedroom. When he comes back, yawning, Jensen's standing over the coffee maker, and Jared tugs on his sleeve and nods towards their room. Jensen acknowledges him with a grunt and a soft smile, but it's a few minutes before he follows Jared and curls up against him.

*

Jensen sits straight up at three in the morning, unsure of what woke him. Then he hears it again, a soft cry. It isn't a loud noise, and it wouldn't have woken him four nights before, but now that he knows it's April, he's sure it would wake him from the deepest sleep. He glances over at Jared, who's stirring, probably from the same sound, and leans down to brush a kiss across his cheek. "Go back to sleep, Jay, I got her."

Jared mumbles something and settles back into the bed, so Jensen slips from bed and pads barefoot into the other room. April isn't crying hard, not full out sobs, but she's obviously distressed.

He still isn't the greatest at telling what she needs, but he figures she's either hungry or needs changing, and if those didn't work, she usually falls asleep pretty fast if he walks around and sings to her.

Twenty minutes later, she has a clean diaper and has finished a bottle. She's settled down to just talking some, but Jensen knows if he puts her down and leaves, she'll start crying again. So he's out in the living room, singing to her softly. He doesn't know many nursery rhymes—although he figures if he heard any of the ones from his childhood, he'd remember them pretty fast—so he's relying on Steve and Chris for the moment. "So many places we could go, take the train down to Mexico. Lay around and watch a show..."

He hears a noise and glances up and sees Jared leaning against the wall, blinking the sleep from his eyes. But he's grinning at him, so Jensen smiles back. "Hey, April. Dad got up with us, too."

Jared huffs a small laugh at that, coming over to them. April's eyes are falling shut, and Jensen starts singing again until she's sleeping, Jared's arm around his waist and their daughter in his arms.

Once she's settled again, they nearly stagger back to bed. "Tried not to wake you," Jensen mumbles, his face buried in Jared's shoulder.

"S'okay," Jared murmurs. "I was up."

Jensen chuckles softly, then settles down next to Jared in their bed and pulls the comforter over them. They go back to sleep, Jensen's arms wrapped tight around Jared's waist.

*

The next day, Sandy shows up at their apartment, balancing her son Nathan in her arms. Jared opens the door and bends down to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hey," Sandy says as she kisses his. "So, where is she?"

"Where're my dogs?" he counters.

Sandy rolls her eyes. "Chris has them out in the truck. Yes, they somehow managed to survive without you. Can I see her now?"

Jared turns towards the kitchen. "Jense, Sandy and Chris are here. I'm gonna go and bring the dogs in, 'kay?" He waits for Jensen's muffled shout of affirmation before turning back to Sandy. "They're in the kitchen," he tells her before heading out the door, and Sandy doesn't hesitate before heading off in that direction.

By the time Jared gets down to Chris and Sandy's truck, Chris has all three dogs out. Sadie and Harley see Jared and immediately set off a racket, barking and whining for Chris to let them forward. Frank, Sandy's (and Chris', she reminds them often) little red Pomeranian, sits at Chris' feet with his head cocked to the side, watching the proceedings.

"Those mutts sure are happy to see you," Chris drawls. "You'd think you and Jenny'd been gone months instead of days."

Jared laughs. "They always are, even after just a few hours."

Chris nods knowingly, casting an eye down on the small... _thing_ there with him. Jared only grins. He knows that Chris does actually like the dog he insists is named Buddy. Sandy said anyone who names their dog that automatically gives up naming rights and promptly renamed the dog Charles Hugh Franklin the Third.

"You comin' up?" Jared asks after he manages to calm the dogs down.

Chris nods. "Yeah. Just hopin' to let her get her baby fix out before I get up there. Nathan's only one, and we sure as hell don't need another. At least not yet," he tells Jared with a sly grin.

Jared laughs and leads the way up.

*

When Sandy bursts into the kitchen, Jensen looks up with a grin. Sandy's right beside him, cooing, before he can do more than shift in his seat at the table. Nathan looks down at April with interest, reaching out. Sandy laughs and sets him down, and the little boy looks around for a few seconds before running—because the kid _never_ walks—towards the thankfully empty dog dishes. According to Chris and Sandy, he never touched Sadie and Harley's dishes at their place, but it seemed he couldn't get enough dog food at Jensen and Jared's.

"Well, Aunt Sandy? She pass?" Jensen asks.

Sandy's smile softens. "She's beautiful, Jen. Can I?" She's already reaching out, and Jensen lets her shift April into her grasp. "She's so sweet!" she grins as the little girl starts to babble at her.

"Yeah, she's a good girl," Jensen tells her with pride. "Doesn't cry a whole lot, is content to just be held. She hasn't slept through the night for us yet, but once she settles in, she will."

Sandy looks at him for a moment, then back at April. "I'm glad this happened, that it worked out, Jen."

"We are, too," Jared says just as Jensen opened his mouth to respond. Harley and Sadie slipslide across the floor to Jensen, and he laughs, greeting them.

Chris comes in behind Jared with Frank on his heels, and Jensen nods at him. "Hey, man."

"I hear you two went and made yourselves parents," Chris says with a nod of his own. He whistles low. "Never thought I'd see you settled with a kid, Jenny."

"You should talk," Jensen laughs out.

Chris' grin only grows wider. "Oh, I'm talking."

"I don't know how you put up with him," Jensen says to Sandy. "Then again, you put up with my boy here"—he nods at Jared—"so I can sorta see how you learned patience and all."

"Hey, now. I resent that," Jared says, lightly cuffing Jensen on the back of the head. Jensen retaliates by smacking Jared on the ass, and Sandy passes April to Chris and moves to separate them.

"Now, now, boys," she says in a chiding voice. "No fighting in front of the other children."

"Yes, ma'am," Jared says. "Can I see my daughter now?"

Chris hands her over. "She's beautiful, guys. Really. Reminds me of when Nate here was that age. You better watch that hair of yours, Jared," he adds.

Jared looks up at him. "Yeah? How come?" Before anyone can answer April chooses that moment to reach up and tug hard on a lock of hair falling over Jared's eye. "_Ouch!_ Jesus, baby girl."

Chris grins evilly. "That's why."

*

A while later, Chris, Sandy, Nate and Frank have all gone home, and Jensen is cooking dinner. Jared disappeared with April and the dogs a little while before, and it's been pretty quiet for the last bit. Making sure nothing will burn, Jensen walks into the other room and looks down on the couch, smiling softly when he sees that Jared's fallen asleep with April on his chest.

He's been watching them for a few minutes when Jared opens his eyes and looks up.

"Hey." Jensen reaches down and brushes some of the hair from his face, "Dinner's almost ready."

Jared smiles up at him and then glances at April. "You think she'll sleep now?"

Jensen shrugs. "She might. She was awake for a while today."

Jared slowly stands, making sure not to jostle April too much, then takes her back towards her bedroom. Jensen watches, still lost in the sight of _Jared_ with _their daughter_.

He goes back to the kitchen, thinking. He had never really wanted kids, not after he got into the business. He'd never thought much about them, really, but he felt like they were probably more hassle then anything. He had friends who had kids, though, and knew how happy they were. And Jared—Jared wanted this. He didn't know quite why Jared wanted kids so bad, but it hadn't taken much for Jensen to sit down and talk to him about it, and once he'd seen how much Jared really, truly, had looked into it, and wanted it, and felt they could and should do it, Jensen had agreed to look into the adoption process.

While this was going on, he'd watched Chris and Sandy—and he'd been just as surprised about them as anyone—raise Nate and seen how tired they were when he wouldn't sleep for more than a few hours at a time. But he'd also seen how happy they were, and saw how Chris looked at Sandy and Nate.

Nothing, though—nothing had prepared him for the sight of Jared holding _their daughter_. He doubts he could describe it for anyone, but something was so right about seeing Jared holding April, sleeping with her on the couch.

Jared comes back into the room and gets out the plates and silverware, putting it on the table. Jensen starts to dish the stuff out, both working in a companionable silence that they've mastered over the years.

Once they'd settled next to each other at the table, food on their plates and a beer each, they start talking about their plans for the next day. When they're almost done, Jared nudges him with his toes. "So, when'd your mom say she was coming out?"

Jensen squints over at the calendar hanging on the wall, taking a sip from his beer. "Six days. She's gonna stay a week, I think."

Jared nods, settling back in his chair, pushing his mostly clear plate away. "Cool. That'll be good, we can finish fixing up April's room, she can tell me all your embarrassing baby stories...." He nudges Jensen again, grinning. "Maybe we can get some time to ourselves...."

Jensen looks horrified. "Dude. We are not doing anything while my _mom_ is in our house," he says. "You're lucky she likes you, you know."

"Aw, come on," Jared says, pouting a little. "Whatever, you totally won't be able to resist my manly charms. And your mom loves me," he adds smugly.

"Yeah, well, just because she loves you doesn't mean she wants to catch you doing me up the ass," Jensen mutters, blushing. "Can we please not talk about this anymore?"

Jared shudders at the image. "Uh, yeah, no problem." He takes one last bite and stands up, stretching. "You done, Jen?"

"What? Yeah." Jensen puts down his fork and passes Jared his empty plate, but he doesn't get up. "You think she's okay in there all by herself? What if she's cold?"

Jared rinses the plates and puts them in the dishwasher, wiping his hands on his jeans when he's done. "You're the one who always wants the temperature down," he says.

"That's because I sleep with a freakin' furnace every night," Jensen grumbles good-naturedly. "I just... I'm gonna go check on her." He crosses the apartment and disappears into April's room. He stands there, watching her for a few minutes, reaching down and running a finger across her cheek. She's so small, and fragile, and he doesn't know how anyone could not want her.

When Jensen goes back out, the kitchen's been cleaned up and the coffee maker's blinking to let them know it's set. Jared reaches out and loops his arms around Jensen's waist from behind.

"Hey," Jared says. He rests his chin on Jensen's shoulder. "Feel better?"

Jensen smiles and turns to kiss him softly. "Yeah, I guess. It's all just so weird for me, you know?"

"Yeah, babe, I know. It'll get better, I swear." Jared kisses him again, then stands up and rests his hand lightly on Jensen's back. "You coming to bed?"

Jensen nods and follows Jared into their room, leaving the door cracked behind them.


End file.
